A Bit of Prose and Something to Ponder About Fireflies

It might be a big surprise
When China comes to buy
The failing US economy
But would you really care
With jobs open everywhere?
We'd have safe media
and Public Health Care

When the great China reigns supreme
And corrects our economy
I can ride my bicycle
to a lead-free facility
Cause everything's exactly as it seems

The People's Republic would
Do everything they could
To keep me in a world that's nice and safe
Restricted internet
Biggest military threat
At least that's what the reporters have said

When the great China reigns supreme
And corrects our economy
I can ride my bicycle
to a lead-free facility
Cause everything's exactly as it seems
(Now that I'm Chinese)

To keep population down
(People of China Volunteer.)
Birth control is all around
(People of China Volunteer.)
The first child's all you have to keep
(People of China Volunteer.)
There's no reason to lose any sleep

So when supreme China buys
We all can compromise
Join China or face the detention cell
Or if you're real lucky
for social stability
You might be chosen
and tortured 'til you agree


When the great China reigns supreme
And corrects our economy
I can ride my bicycle
to a lead-free facility
Cause everything's exactly as it seems
(Now that I'm Chinese)
When the great China reigns supreme
And corrects our economy
I can ride my bicycle
to a lead-free facility
Cause everything's exactly as it seems

And now I'm happy just to be Chinese



If you don't think it's very funny, try humming the tune to of Fireflies by Owl City as you read it. Damn right it's a parody. If there's ever been a song that deserves to be parodied it's that one. Why does everyone think that song is so great? It drives me nuts because it just meanders through a wet dream involving literal swarms of insects. Ten million fireflies isn't beautiful it's terrifying! And when .1% of them break off to start giving you "hugs" it isn't because they're teaching you to dance... unless you count screaming and flailing in sheer terror as they consume your skin a dance. China wouldn't allow that to happen. This song would be repressed by the media restrictions, which I would then be grateful for. I just can't clear this image out of my mind... swarms.... millions of them! Can you imagine what a million fireflies would actually look like? Just be glad that there's a survival mechanism in your brain that keeps you from thinking about it too hard.