Beep beep beep

I couldn't stand to look into those eyes anymore. Mine were filled with tears as my heart crumbled apart. She looked back at me with understanding... and a smile. It crushed me. My heart had never hurt so much. I didn't know if it was a blessing or a curse that I was here in this moment. She was dying... Fading from life. I wasn't sure how long I had been there. The only way to tell the time was to count the chimes from the machine. I couldn't look anywhere else. "Beep. Beep. Beep." Then, even before it happened, I could hear the long steady beep.

They rushed me out and I cried. There was a waiting room, filled with only me. And I cried. Doctors kept trying to talk to me, but I could only gasp to fill my lungs after sobbing so much. They gave up and just watched from afar.

After a few hours, I began to return to my senses. But not exactly. It was like everything was dull. There was a vague sense that something was missing. Like I was colorblind, but in a place that had no colors to begin with. Realizing that she was gone brought on another outpouring of tears. They ran down my face unabated, but I was otherwise composed. It was a weird feeling. Like I could carry on a conversation, but I would have tears just streaming down my cheeks. I wiped my eyes again and again, until finally I had finished. Realizing that I was still in this place drove to insanity. I rushed out of the hospital as fast as I could. When I was in the parking lot, I finally started breathing again and started just walking aimlessly.

I tried to check the time, but my phone was dead. I looked up and noticed for the first time that it was night time. What would I do tomorrow? What would I do tonight? I just realized that I didn't even really know where I was. Did I drive here? Was anyone else even there?

Just doctors. And the machine. I don't think I'll ever be able to handle hearing that sound again.